


Bees and Birds

by SparksSeer



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mike tries to explain sex to Anders, kid!johnsons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 21:35:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparksSeer/pseuds/SparksSeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six-year-old Anders has seen his parents doing weird things in the bedroom and now wants his older brother Mike to explain them to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bees and Birds

It was a late Sunday afternoon and Mike was in his room, doing the homework he had been procrastinating the whole last week. Suddenly his door slammed open and a little boy appeared on the door step.

“What is it, Anders? I am trying to do my homework.”

“Mummy and Daddy are doing weird things, Mike.”

“I don’t care. Go away and play in your room.”

“But Mike! I think Daddy tried to eat Mummy.”

Mike laughed about his younger brother. “I am pretty sure he isn’t trying to eat Mum.”

“I am sure he was! He was lying on top of her. He held her arms down and tried to eat her! I swear! They were naked! And Mummy screamed! Mike, you need to help her!”

Mike laughed even harder now, suspecting what his six-year-old brother just witnessed.

“And what did you do? Did you … disturb them?”

“No! Daddy could have eaten me as dessert!” His face showed pure fear and horror. Mike thought it was cute seeing his little brother like this, talking that sincere about what he thought he had seen.

“Okay, come here.” He gestured to his bed and the two brothers sat down on it, facing each other. “I’ll explain it to you. No need to worry about Mummy. She’s fine.”

“She is not! Mike!” Anders was shouting at him now, his eyes getting watery.

“Calm down, little dwarf. I said, I’ll explain it to you. Mummy and Daddy are grown-ups. They can handle it by themselves. They love each other.”

“I’m not a dwarf! Don’t call me like that. I am almost seven!”

“And because you’re already that old, you need to listen to me and stay calm, okay? No screaming and shouting. Only little kids like your brother Ty are behaving like that.”

Anders nodded eagerly. “Okay. Now tell me! Why was Daddy trying to eat Mummy?”

“He wasn’t eating Mum. They were having sex.” He blurted out.

“Six? That’s a number. How can they …. have a number?!”

“No, sex!”

“What’s sex? And why did Mummy scream if Daddy wasn’t trying to eat her?”

Anders had a very confused look on his face. Mike had the feeling that this conversation was going to be difficult. He remembered the time when he had the same talk with Mum and Dad… He was a lot mature back then, of course.

“Look, Andy, when two people really love each other, like Mum and Dad, they decide to have sex. It’s like a way of showing how much they love each other.”

“Well, it didn’t look as if Mummy liked it! How does it work? What were they _really_ doing?”

Mike sighed. “They kiss a lot, and hug each other, stuff like that.”

“But why was Mummy screaming?”

“Because she just really enjoys it.”

“Just because Daddy kissed her?”

This was going to be more difficult than Mike originally thought it would be. He had to explain his little brother the details now, even though he didn’t have that much of a clue about it … But Anders didn’t need to know that.

“Well... There is more involved than just kissing. Things only grown-ups do. And Mummy and Daddy like those things, they make them happy, so that sometimes, they are so happy, that they scream.”

“Hmmm… But what things? I am almost seven! I am old enough! So tell me, Mikie!” Anders couldn’t sit still now, he was curious and wanted to know everything. He eyes were watching his older brother, whom he so much idolized, as Mike tried to find the right words to explain it to his little brother.

“Okay, so Mum and Dad are doing the same, as when they make a baby, and-“

Anders interrupted him. “So we are getting another brother? Cool!” Anders got up and jumped up and down on his brother’s bad, full of excitement.

“No, no, not necessarily. Now sit back down!” The smaller brother sat back down on the bed and sulked.

“But why not? You said…”

“I said, they were doing the same as if they were making a baby. Not that they were actually making a baby. You need to listen more closely.”

“So no baby?”

“Dunno. They are just doing it for fun, you know, there are ways to avoid having a baby.”

“But…what ways? And you didn’t say what things they were really doing!” Anders was whining now.

“Okay, so when Mum and Dad are having sex, Dad … puts his penis … in Mums vagina. So when they want to have a baby, semen comes into Mum and … swims to an egg cell of Mum and … kinda unite, so that a baby can grow from it. That’s how you were made, for example.” Mike looked expectantly at his little brother, unsure if this explanation would satisfy his curiosity. Anders pulled a face with what seemed like disgust.

“Eeew! That’s disgusting!”

Mike grinned, when Anders looked at him like that. Of course, his little brother would focus on that part. Hopefully, he wouldn’t ask more questions, that went that much into detail.

“I think, when you’re older, you’ll think differently about it.”

Anders nodded slowly. “Did you have sex already, Mikie?”

That was a question Mike wasn’t prepared for. He was thirteen now, and of course he hadn’t had sex yet. Although there was this girl in his English class, he really liked… but he wasn’t thinking about having sex with her any time soon. He still would like to get to know her better and maybe kiss her…

“Mikie? Did you?” So Anders wasn’t thinking of letting it be when Mike didn’t answer him.

“That’s none of your business, dwarf!”

Anders crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at his older brother with an angry look. In that moment the door to Mike’s bedroom opened again. Anders, whose back was facing the door, turned around, got up quickly and ran towards the person standing on the doorstep.

“Mummy!” Anders hugged her close. “I am glad Daddy didn’t eat you! Are we getting another brother now? Or can we have a sister this time, please?”

Anders was jumping up and down in front of their mother, who looked at her oldest son with confusion. Mike grinned and shrugged.

“Mikkel, can I have a word with you, please? And Anders, go back to your room, we’ll talk about this later.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it!  
> The prompt to this story was provided by a friend of mine.  
> I know, that even the title says Bees and Birds, it is actually not mentioned here. I just thought it would be a fitting title.  
> I've only just started writing and I am mostly not really happy with it, so please leave your thoughts about it. Also, please tell me, if you see any mistakes in grammar, spelling etc. since english is not my native language.  
> Thank you!


End file.
